What do pirates have to do with the undead? A lot. How do I know? Because I'm a lawyer. Lawyers find connections in the most incongruous and illogical places.
So here for your reading enjoyment we present...a poem.
Be There Monsters On Deck
Many a monster can be found
when sailing of the map.
But few the monsters on board ships;
Here be the mystery we unwrap.
Ghost ships there be, and many seen
On nights of moonlit mist.
But rarely found are ghosts themselves.
What be the cause of this?
It seems that ghosts love to haunt
A structure on solid land
But ships? They rock and toss and dip;
No ghost can take a stand.
Vampires, well, they need blood.
Much sailor blood be muck.
Living off men too long at sea
Quickly starts to suck.
And werewolves suffer like normal men
If they live on meat too long
(Thus was it first to a werewolf said,
“Avast, ye scurvy dog!”)
Zombies no crew will tolerate.
Too much rotten flesh and moans.
The undead, they be quickly consigned
to the care of Davy Jones.
And so it be that on ships ye find
Few spectrals or undead
Ye have to settle for the fearful vision
of the Jolly Roger instead.
From all of us here at the Undead Bar Association, we wish you a Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2010!